i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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