At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
