Im at strip club and am horny
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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