I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
