We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
These tits shall not be calmed
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