There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
