made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Just pee around me
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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