I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
