Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Randomize
