would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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