I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
We named our party play list daddy issues
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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