I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
