White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
