That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Randomize
