I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
