I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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