he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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