i was born a porn star she said
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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