respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
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