All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
