why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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