Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
