Yo dont text me then not text me
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize