Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
