I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
