you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize
