I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.