you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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