hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.