So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
