Three words: puerto rican gang bang
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
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I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list