Texts From Last Night

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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.

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  (814): I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible. http://tfl.nu/rjoz
  Replies (26) Good night (1512) Bad night (3137)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.

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  (914): Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex. http://tfl.nu/kgv4
  Replies (5) Good night (3016) Bad night (1333)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?

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  (847): I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me? http://tfl.nu/3ncq
  Replies (5) Good night (1384) Bad night (3997)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!

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  (414): I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name! http://tfl.nu/m6pe
  Replies (22) Good night (6102) Bad night (771)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.

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  (512): We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment. http://tfl.nu/imr3
  Replies (43) Good night (1752) Bad night (5593)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.

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  (254): Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working. http://tfl.nu/apns
  Replies (8) Good night (853) Bad night (4044)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood

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  (440): I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood http://tfl.nu/iriz
  Replies (15) Good night (968) Bad night (4608)
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  (530): View more from California

  and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.

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  (530): and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters. http://tfl.nu/hxhg
  Replies (5) Good night (3022) Bad night (915)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.

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  (239): Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest. http://tfl.nu/uwa9
  Replies (10) Good night (1536) Bad night (573)
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  (831): View more from California

  After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"

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  (831): After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!" http://tfl.nu/os8d
  Replies (4) Good night (2746) Bad night (619)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.

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  (706): Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size. http://tfl.nu/vhd5
  Replies (7) Good night (539) Bad night (2031)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out

  (417): View more from Missouri

  You'd think the first few times would have been enough

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  (616): If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out (417): You'd think the first few times would have been enough http://tfl.nu/z7d7
  Replies (10) Good night (657) Bad night (1489)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.

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  (614): It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment. http://tfl.nu/va62
  Replies (5) Good night (672) Bad night (506)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...

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  (218): I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin... http://tfl.nu/zsou
  Replies (2) Good night (338) Bad night (622)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me

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  (405): there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me http://tfl.nu/c4z7
  Replies (4) Good night (714) Bad night (432)

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