he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha