Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Yeah, i think she was German or something.

(1-405): View more from Oklahoma

No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.

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(405): Yeah, i think she was German or something. (1-405): No dude, she's just got a speech impediment. http://tfl.nu/y6oj

Replies (4) Good night (852) Bad night (1319)
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(518): View more from New York

i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.

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(518): i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream. http://tfl.nu/w7qz

Replies (21) Good night (3862) Bad night (712)
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(513): View more from Ohio

you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza

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(513): you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza http://tfl.nu/lm16

Replies (7) Good night (3631) Bad night (783)
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(856): View more from New Jersey

I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do

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(856): I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do http://tfl.nu/mquj

Replies (34) Good night (3760) Bad night (774)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.

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(978): your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop. http://tfl.nu/x1i9

Replies (12) Good night (5457) Bad night (1085)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.

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(570): As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen. http://tfl.nu/y5cy

Replies (1) Good night (736) Bad night (2549)
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(517): View more from Michigan

Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.

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(517): Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever. http://tfl.nu/fx8m

Replies (21) Good night (4743) Bad night (1655)
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(847): View more from Illinois

There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"

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(847): There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show" http://tfl.nu/r6m2

Replies (7) Good night (2926) Bad night (1336)
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(713): View more from Texas

He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.

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(713): He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that. http://tfl.nu/cec8

Replies (6) Good night (796) Bad night (1575)
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(208): View more from Idaho

Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.

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(208): Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind. http://tfl.nu/wqhb

Replies (4) Good night (1123) Bad night (521)
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(512): View more from Texas

I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though

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(512): I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though http://tfl.nu/zufj

Replies (2) Good night (1268) Bad night (495)
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(574): View more from Indiana

I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN

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(574): I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN http://tfl.nu/b0a5

Replies (3) Good night (817) Bad night (393)
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(806): View more from Texas

I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really

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(806): I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really http://tfl.nu/rgm5

Replies (4) Good night (701) Bad night (470)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

Can't find our DD

(1-919): View more from North Carolina

He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.

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(919): Can't find our DD (1-919): He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door. http://tfl.nu/0qwm

Replies (4) Good night (1184) Bad night (342)
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(425): View more from Washington

I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."

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(425): I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those." http://tfl.nu/wwy7

Replies (1) Good night (1066) Bad night (322)

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