Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...