Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)