i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I'm passing your future prison.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
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