Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
