That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Little spoons don't ask big questions
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
