Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize