If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
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