you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
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