So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
