it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Randomize
