So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize