she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize