my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
