The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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