Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
