Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize