His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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