Will you blow on my dice?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize