If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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