Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
