PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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