i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Randomize
