Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
