Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
it was like eating out sand paper
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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