is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
