First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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