guys are not supposed to queef...right?
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
