it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
