the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
