shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize