who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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