I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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