so that wasnt chicken after all
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
