For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
