Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize