I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
it was like having sex with a tree stump
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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