Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
