Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
