Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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