It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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